*Student crawls toward me during our lockdown practice*
Student A: (barely audible whisper) Miss, I have a question.
Me: You need to be quiet. We're pretending we're not here.
Student A: Would you do the same thing those teachers did for the little kids?
Me: Of course.
Student A: Even when we're buttholes?
Me: Even more when you're buttholes.
Student A: But we're not cute like them.
Me: So?
Student A: You'd die? For us?
Me: Of course.
Student B: God you're so stupid. We're her kids. You know she'd bitchslap him. Now shut up. I want to play coolmathgames before Science.